Monday, April 4, 2011

Either choose life or death

That's what I'm trying to do. Starting today. Just breathing. Taking deep breaths. Trying to relax. Trying to not stress or worry so much.

Not to say I should just totally slack off on responsibilties, no, but try to untense a bit, so I don't give myself a heart attack.

It helps a bit that I got my 401k loan today. Not a ton of money, only like $1100. But enough for me to put into my savings account to make it so I can breathe a little easier. Money to fall back on, just in case.

For so long I've lived without a safety net, so I feel much better having that backup in place. So many changes in my life since August. Trying to make as many of them positive changes as possible.

I had gone off my antidepressant about a month ago, since live was going so swell, and I was feeling good. Now sometimes I feel myself slipping into the fog again.

I don't want to have to go back on the antidepressant. I don't like using meds as a crutch. So I'm doing my best to snap out of this funk I've been in.

I want to be the best mom I can be to my kiddos, and the best girlfriend I can be to my boyfriend. And that means I've just got to let go, and embrace life. Don't be so afraid of the future. Just breathe.

1 comment:

  1. I was really scared when I went off anti depressants that I wouldn't be able to stay happy - I sometimes feel like I'm slipping back too, but it goes away! I totally agree with you though about not wanting to stay on them as a crutch. Either you stay on them forever or you bite the bullet and learn to be happy without them. Good luck, you're not alone!

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