Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
FEAR. I'm so tired of being afraid. I've let fear of the unknown hold me back from a lot... and I don't want to live like that anymore.
I was afraid of what it would be like to be alone, and try to raise 2 kids on my own, and so I stayed in a bad marriage, despite my utter unhappiness.
And then when he finally had the guts that I could never find, and ended it, I ended up alone anyway. So what did I gain besides more misery? I should have had the wherewithall to say ya know what... we made a mistake... we got married way too young and yes at some point we did love each other, but not anymore.
And staying together when we are so wrong for each other is just a waste of time... And I'm tired of wasting time... no... that doesn't mean that I'm looking to jump into a serious relationship right now... but I don't want to sit around forever feeling sorry for myself and being afraid that I'll never find a good man to love, and who will love me back...
I'm tired of being that scared little girl... I need to come out of my shell and fight for what I want... which is to be happy and have a good life. Which means going back to school, getting into nursing, and hopefully finding a worthy man to have a healthy relationship with.
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