Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Wow... I actually have a lot I need to forgive myself for, but I'll just focus on the biggest thing... and maybe if I can do this... I can let go of a lot of baggage I have!
I need to forgive myself for the fact that for 9 years... I let my heart/emotional side of me rule my life. I turned a blind eye to the abuse a man who didn't love me put me through... all because I thought I loved him, and wanted to be a family with him.
But I need to realize that with that pain, was a purpose. The relationship... no matter how awful... will always have a silver lining in my children.
Without The Douchebag... there would be no Charlie or Timmy... so I need to forgive myself for hating myself for loving the Douchebag and putting up with being cheated on and treated poorly... because I wanted these kids and they are so worth it, and I would go through it all again.
It has been a great learning experience... to say the least :) Without the hardships I've gone through, not only in my relationship with The Douchebag, but also with The Player, and The Smooth Operator, I would not be who I am today... so I can't complain too much....
I can only hope that in the future I've learned that it's okay to listen to your heart and emotions, to a degree, but you shouldn't let your brain or logical side be completely on mute....
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